May 2013
1 post
Saying Goodbye...Starting Anew...
I began this blog in January 2011. It was a symbol for me of something new beginning, an act of courage in the face of a long bout of depression following the birth of my sweet Phoenix. I wanted to release the words trapped inside me, to share parts of myself and to encourage others through the knowledge they are not “the only one”. I wanted to try out this newfangled way of...
December 2012
1 post
2 tags
Sweet Leilani
{Sweet Leilani Heavenly flower I dreamed of paradise for two You are my paradise completed You are my dream come true} Most everyone who knows us personally have heard the news, but I wanted to dust off the blog to share that our baby girl has arrived!
Leilani Nokuthula Hazel was born this past Monday at 4:18 pm, weighing 8lbs 11oz and was 20 inches long. I’ll write a more...
September 2012
3 posts
5 tags
First Day of School Interviews
In case you needed one more reason to visit my blog today, I had to post these adorable little videos as soon as I got them uploaded! In the curriculum we’re using, it suggests making a first day of school interview with your child, and then following it up on the last day of school to see what answers have changed. I thought that was the cutest idea, so me and Zion did it first thing...
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Our Decision to Homeschool, part one
{I wrote this post several weeks ago in my journal, but finally felt comfortable enough to share it since, as of yesterday, we are officially homeschooling! I guess I had to get past cold feet before I could type this one up. I will write a separate update on how it’s going so far soon! For now, enjoy some “first day of school” pictures and part one of my list of homeschooling...
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27 Weeks!
I wrote this whole long post yesterday, but the internet was being particularly obnoxious and I lost the whole thing! So…here I am, trying again.
I’m 27 weeks and 2 days today! I snapped this picture yesterday afternoon amidst a very unglamorous day of cleaning bathrooms, organizing bookshelves, and finally attempting to put our master bedroom together (yep,...
August 2012
7 posts
2 tags
A poem, and what is enough...
Oh, my Zion :-)
I read this poem this weekend and I thought of him at this age. Almost everyday he presents a picture he’s drawn, an extra special mud pie he’s created, or some other little trinket, just to show his love for me in his own special 5 year old way.
The other day I was ricocheting slowly off the blue walls of this room, moving as if underwater from...
7 tags
Baby Update: 23 Weeks
With a little less than 17 weeks to go, we have definitely hit the point where baby Flower is blossoming (and making me blossom) beautifully!
I’ve started my weekly progesterone (17p) shots finally, which are starting to exacerbate some of my symptoms. The first shot I had to give to myself in the midwive’s office. Picture this: two children, both terrified of...
4 tags
Milestones: The First Lost Tooth
You will lose your baby teeth. At times, you’ll lose your faith in me. You will lose a lot of things, But you cannot lose my love…
~”You Cannot Lose My Love”, Sara Groves
You Cannot Lose My Love by Sara Groves on Grooveshark
This past Sunday we got to experience yet another big milestone in Zion’s life: his first baby tooth fell out! Around a month ago...
11 tags
1,000 Gifts, revisited.
Once upon a time, I started a list of 1,000 gifts. It was an attempt to record the simple, fleeting moments of life that were, in fact, small blessings and miracles in disguise. I kept a journal for a short time, and recorded some here on the blog. Eventually, like many good ideas, I gave up on it.
This past week has been very trying for me. Despite all the positive aspects of life right...
8 tags
End of Summer...
Paul started his new job yesterday, yay! However, with his return to full-time work, it kind of feels like the summer days are over. We’ll be enjoying the hot weather for a few more months down here in NC, but the carefree days of summer 2012 will live on only in memory as our little family gets into the full swing of a new way of living!
I wanted to share a whole bunch of pictures from...
Coming to terms...
The title of this post…double entendre if I’ve ever heard one, especially in my current state of body. Here I am, 21 weeks into pregnancy, coming to terms…coming to the full term of pregnancy. But I am also, once again, coming to terms with this ever-growing and changing body of mine.
I snapped this photo the other night in bad lighting. At first...
July 2012
8 posts
8 tags
From My Bookshelf...
It’s been awhile since I’ve shared some favorite books! Being an avid reader I pretty much always have something checked out from the library, or an old favorite from my bookshelf, on hand. I thought I’d share the two books I’m currently reading and maybe inspire some summer reading of your own!
If there is one genre of book I love more than any other, it’s...
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Two words: Painfully. Cute.
Just enjoying a hot summer day with my boys in our sandbox turned baby pool!
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Beatboxer...
{Mr. Pheeny on the 4th of July}
Short story for your Sunday night:
Just when I thought this kid couldn’t get any funnier, he’s decided to take up beatboxing. I think this might have stemmed from an episode of “The Electric Company” on PBS Kids (the only television shows they watch). He started his repertoire with two words...
4 tags
20 weeks...
{20 weeks + 4}
Well, we made it to the halfway point. I thought I would share a different view in this picture. If you can overlook the bad lighting/background/weird way I’m holding my pinky fingers (what is WITH that??), you can laugh along with me at my ever-expanding bump that looks more like a beer gut in this picture. I think...
5 tags
Catching up....
This photo pretty much captures life at the moment. Me: a little dazed and just plain worn out, sporting a giant belly for 20 weeks. Our new home: 10 days in and still mostly in disarray.
Paul and I keep discussing how this year, our fifth year of marriage, so closely resembles our first year together. 2007 brought a new baby, graduation from college, marriage, new state, multiple...
I’ll be visiting the blog very sporadically for a week or two more. We’re in the middle of moving houses, which incidentally is not the most fun and takes up a lot of time. Boo!
But hooray to new places and a new chapter of life! We’ll still be in the same town, but a bit more spread out in a bigger, single-family house…with some outdoor space to roam about even!
...
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Welcome to the World....
{Our sweet little baby}
….little GIRL!
We are over the moon excited to announce we’ll be adding a sweet baby girl to the family in December!! I’m not even sure if my words would be coherent if I tried to explain my feelings right now. We would have gladly welcomed any child, but are feeling especially blessed this evening...
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Boy or Girl?
{My 17 week bump. The sweet (and still a little sleepy) big brother sitting behind me}
Dear little turnip (yes, that’s how big you are this week),
Tomorrow is the big day. Your dad and I are about to split with excitement to see if the ultrasound tech we saw first guessed correctly. Will it be big brothers’ blue clothes you’ll be sportin’ or something...
June 2012
9 posts
4 tags
16 Weeks
Dear little one,
I have this habit—after I’ve written something, I read it back to myself aloud. A habit cultivated long ago by Dr. Cahill in AP English, senior year. It’s helpful for me to check the flow of my words, and to spot misspellings or other errors.
Why am I explaining this?? Because today as I sat down to write, I remembered that this is the...
3 tags
Old Me
Excuse my vanity as I post this ridiculously old picture of myself. 20 years old, not a care in the world, walking over the Charles River in Boston, stopping to pose for a picture. The wind picked up at just the right moment and I gave a smile to that younger version of Paul behind the camera.
When I took this picture from one of Paul’s old albums on...
2 tags
15 weeks
{Flower getting some horsey kisses}
We spent Father’s Day enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon. We took a walk to a sweet little horse farm in town and brought some carrots along to share with the horses.
I loved the moment in the picture above. We were all taking turns posing with this sweet horse, and when I stepped over beside him he was...
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A Father's Love
{One of the first pictures of Paul with Zion}
{One of the first pictures of Paul with Phoenix}
It is no secret: Paul and I didn’t set out to become parents together. It was a twist of fate…an act of God…that he became father to my children—our children. As we celebrated his almost 6 years of fatherhood...
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A Little Sneak Peek...
{Hello, in there!}
I am happy to report that my first ultrasound went really well! So far, baby looks healthy and happy in there. One of the first things I noticed, and what continued to blow my mind throughout the whole thing, was how still and calm this baby was! Unbelievable. I thought Phoenix was pretty calm compared to Zion in the...
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5 years of Love
{Renewing our vows to each other, Emmanuel Episcopal Church, June 10, 2012}
TOGETHER You and I by this lamp with these Few books shut out the world. Our knees Touch almost in this little space. But I am glad. I see your face. The silences are long, but each Hears the other without speech. And in this simple scene there is The essence of all subtleties, The freedom from all fret...
3 tags
Finding Peace
{My peace dove. March 30, 2012}
I’ll admit it. When I saw the second line pop up on the pregnancy test back in March, I kind of freaked out. My face wavered between involuntary smiles of wonder and probably some shade of green as I suddenly felt sick with worry. This was what we wanted, but it was also going to be a huge change for our family. When we added Phoenix to the family...
3 tags
Sayonara First Trimester!
{13 weeks 4 days}
I’m a few days early, but very soon I will officially be out of the first trimester! Crazy to think at this point in my pregnancy with Phoenix we had not told a soul. And this time…let’s be honest, could I really even hide this baby?? Every morning I like to feel around the...
7 tags
Transit of Venus
{Transit of Venus: The tiny black dot is the planet Venus, moving between Earth and the Sun. An event that occurs in double, eight years apart, and then waits another 100 years to return. Photo taken by the Slooh Space Camera, from Norway, June 5, 2012.}
Celestial beauty inspires my words tonight
Diminutive Venus eclipsing bright Helios
Just a touch of the heat and...
May 2012
8 posts
2 tags
In Memory
This is my Grandpa Albert. A man I never met, but his legend was woven through my life story for as long as I can remember. I had seen so many pictures of him through the years…his school photos (he was a carpentry teacher later in life), photos of him with my grandma, of him and his seven children…but never this particular one. One day it popped up on Facebook when one of...
4 tags
Talking to Flower...
{Zion making the big baby announcement to the family at Phoenix’s 2nd birthday party. “We’re having a new baby girl and her name will be Flower!!” he said. Ehhh, maybe not, big brother…but who would dare to correct such enthusiasm and love!}
While taking turns talking to Flower, this evening:
Zion: No, Dad, you have to put your mouth right up to...
4 tags
To Potty Train or Not to Potty Train
{I added a few pictures to this post that my sister, Susanna, took at Phoenix’s birthday party last month. I can’t believe this kid is 2 already!}
I have never been one to feel the need to push my kids into potty training. I know some people choose to do elimination communication or some other method of training really young, but I preferred a “wait and see when they show...
2 tags
The Details...
{This picture has nothing to do with the content of the post, but until I have cute baby belly pics…here’s a gratuitous picture of the adorable soon-to-be big brother!}
Since I announced we’re having another baby, and even shared my first sappy letter written to baby, I realized in neither of these posts did I share any details other than vaguely how far along I am! I...
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Weekend at Weaver St.
So maybe this should become a semi-regular feature on the blog, since I just went back in the archives and saw I labeled another post the exact same thing! But I can’t deny it…we love going up to Carrboro to Weaver Street Market whenever we can.
That whole area has a special allure for us. Paul and I have often talked about it and we’ve come...
5 tags
I carry your heart...
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Dear little marvel in my belly,
For one glorious month you were a...
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Growing Pains
I started thinking of the words for this post and I can’t even write it now without tears in my eyes. It’s funny…I’m sitting here, pregnant again, and as nerve-wracking as this time can be, I know I can handle it. I look at Phoenix, in the throes of “the twos”, the infamous twos, and I can handle it.
Then…there’s this guy:
{photo credit goes...
4 tags
This morning I was granted the rare treat of sleeping in, awakened with a special breakfast in bed, flowers, and a homemade card, and spent the day enjoying the two boys who made me a mother. The past 6 years of motherhood (counting Zion’s in utero time), have been an incredible period of my life. I’ve changed and matured in so many ways. I’ve loved more fiercely and felt more...
March 2012
6 posts
3 tags
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Me and the boys had some fun yesterday making some homemade goodies! I decided to take some pictures through the process so I could make my own tutorials to share with all of you. The first one is a seriously easy way to make your own CHEAP, all natural liquid bodywash! The other, that I will share at some later date, will be homemade laundry soap…also very simple to make and so cheap...
2 tags
You were meant for amazing things...
Dear Phoenix,
In a flash another year has gone by. In less than a month’s time you will be 2 years old, and quite frankly, I don’t know if my heart can take it. You have grown up so much recently, using 2 or 3 word sentences, singing songs (both real and made up), and still attempting to do everything Zion does…oftentimes successfully! Both your dad and I are completely...
“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.”
– Anais Nin
February 2012
7 posts
7 tags
I Dream of Africa
{This was taken during my one and only trip to South Africa in 2003, at the Ithala Game Reserve in the province of KwaZulu-Natal}
Something many people don’t realize, when they hear Paul is from South Africa, is we have never visited there together as a family. It is one of those facts of life that constantly haunts me. My children have a whole family they have never met, and I’ve...
5 tags
Eavesdropping on Brothers
{You guys…this pose. They literally posed like this all on their own. I almost died right there. I always thought boys were supposed to be all rough and tumble and rowdy…but these two are about as sweet as they come!}
Zion: “Phoenix, are we best friends?”
Phoenix: “Yep”
Zion: “And we’re going to be neighbors one day, right?”
Phoenix:...
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It's hard to feel obsolete...
I’ve had this thought twirling around in my head for a couple months now, about blogging, Facebook, the online world we’ve all had a part in creating for ourselves. I started feeling nostalgic for the days before all of this. I realized I was glad I knew the world before all this so I could one day tell my children what it was like.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always...
3 tags
Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever be healthy again (drama queen much?)
Really though…we got a couple weeks break after Christmas when Zion had the flu and/or strep throat. Then last week we got hit with the stomach bug from hell aka Norovirus. Now this week it’s fevers and yucky coughs. I’m really regretting the big grocery trip I took two weeks ago because none of us...
Anonymous asked: I read your green card story for your huband Paul, and made me happy you guys made it and got it! My boyfriend is american and I'm not. We are in long distance relationship -5000miles - and when I'm done with college we will marry. Hopefully everything will go as smooth!
